That Guy

He usually just sits around the corner. When I pass by him I try not to look at his face but at the corner of my eye, I can see him grin. Sometimes it's annoying when he follows you to the street where you're doing your business. But I'm not sure it's his fault when does all that. In the dark it gets creepy when he just stands still. I fear him doing that but he doesn't know it. He only thinks of dinner as his stomach starts to burn. His dad is busy cleaning up the garbage off the streets and it takes a while to push the carts back home. His mind proceeds slowly and then again, he just sits around the corner smiling at the passersby.

Bicycle

When I was a kid, I dreamed of my dad riding a bicycle and that I was his passenger. Just this morning, I woke up from a dream where I was dragging a bicycle up a slope and he helped me drag it up.

Crazy Thoughts

Sometimes it's hard to tell if people just get depressed or if it's schizophrenia. Years ago, a friend wrote an article about depression. I wasn't quite sure what she meant by it. As I got older, I understood.

It's probably just too much coke zero. I think I should watch A Beautiful Mind again.

I even think that I had an older post with the same or similar title. Hmmm....

HURT

I want to cry but no tears would flow. I want to scream but not a sound could be heard. I've been hurt by something I couldn't explain. The pain goes on piercing my heart but only the rain and the sun sympathizes with me. The rain keeps on pouring, yet it is not enough to wash away the pain. The sun keeps on shining but it is not enough to burn the hurting inside. So with this pen I shall speak my heart out. I hope this moment of pain lives on this page. And so when the pain is gone, I shall remember that I've been hurt.

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Originally scribbled on paper in 2001. Writing can be therapy for some people.

Last Leaf

When you are sailing, and the rain is strong and the waves are rough, I shall be there to calm the storm.

When you are travelling across the desert and the sun is scorching your throat, I shall be an oasis from where you quench your thirst.

When the night is cold and you are shivering, I shall be the fire and give you warmth.

When you are the last leaf of autumn and you are about to fall, I shall be the earth and catch you when you fall.

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This was an untitled piece originally scribbled in Oct. 17, 2000 past 2AM in the morning.

Another Musing of a Teenager

I'd say it was a bitter past. Here's an old thought she wrote past midnight....

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Good morning. The sun will rise again but first I will sleep. I am tired and exhausted of thinking about the uncertainties in life, and of laughing about nonsense. I have wasted much time chatting with my friends about the past and illusions of the future. Yes, I regretted wasting my time but I will never regret hoping and wishing that someday, all these dreams will come true. Now, I must sleep before the sun burns out all my dreams.

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Until now, she's still reaching for that dream but she realized chatting with friends and laughing about nonsense is all worth it.

Calculus

This was originally written in Feb. 27, 2000 during a boring college calculus class.

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I don't know what bores me everytime I sit in my calculus class. The same numbers, figures flash on the board before me. I don't know why people don't get tired of the same monotonous thing. As my mind flies away into fantasies, the teacher keeps on babbling about theta, the ratio between the height and the base and all other topics that create a hell out of you. As I reminisce and smile on my happy memories, my classmates strive to solve for the rate of something after several seconds and they struggle to answer every obvious question that the teacher throws at them. I cannot blame calculus for the boredom it gives me nor the cranky teacher that stands arrogantly in front. I am just hoping and wishing that this class will interest me once again. Where are the days when I find amusement everytime I scribble numbers with my pen? I just miss those days.

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The writer is still hoping to find that interest again.

Red Planet

This was originally untitled and written in Aug. 28, 2003.

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There is no doubt it was Mars we saw hours ago. It was the brightest in the sky because the moon wasn't out. Mars was like a very big red star, except that it didn't twinkle.

The railings were wet and it was cold up where the water reservoir is. I could see the roof and the silent neighborhood. But even I couldn't stop sneezing now, and my neck hurts a bit because of craning, it was worth watching the red planet.

There was no telescope, just me, my two roommates and the water tank. I am glad there was nothing, but just gas, between us and Mars.